| Jul. 15th, 2008 @ 07:22 pm (no subject) |
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Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: Duke Onkeled - Handsome Volcano Rocks
When my internship at the sugar factory was over, I had expected this here would end. I’m talking about me not having anything better to do than type out what I’m thinking and/or feeling simply because… well, because I don’t have anything better to do.
There seems to be more work to do around this alcohol factory here. It may just seem that way because I just had school for the last few weeks and my group got lucky, we managed to pick a project that did not require us to do very much. We all passed this school year with minimal effort. I’m glad I get to work here, and not just for the money I obviously make by spending my summer break working hard. I am glad for the experience, if this was an RPG, I am certain I’d have leveled up quite a bit since coming here. =D
This way my next internship won’t be as difficult to start, there will be little transition from time off to work.
But the main reason I’m here is still to distract myself. If you give me too much free time nowadays I will just spend it by sitting around and moping. That’s no good… I wish there was something I could do about how I’ve been feeling and everything, but nothing comes to mind. It’s just not as easy as some people seem to think. Actually, I don’t even like thinking about it much, I don’t want to depress myself and as hard as I’ve tried, I can’t seem to think of any solutions. So instead I try to be productive! That’ll work (pun alert).
My main problem nowadays is that I’m getting bitter and am losing what little confidence I managed to build up… And I can get so shy, or simply quiet. So this forces me out of the house, and around people. Even if all the girls here seem spoken for, I at least am around people. I do try to talk sometimes but I’m afraid I am not at all good at it… It’s not like I stutter or anything like that, I just don’t have anything to say. And asking personal questions just feels wrong to me. I can’t help but feel that if they wanted me to know, they’d tell! @_@
But at least I am better at it all than I once was. As quiet, silly, weird and stupid I can be, I am still improving. I am glad I’m here; it means I haven’t given up.
Blah, there I go again, such dramatics. As if I would allow me to kill myself over this. All that has happened is that some girl broke up with me. That’s not at all anything to get dramatic over, it’s no wonder people think I’m weird…
Guess Aidan was right when he thought I was overreacting over the whole thing.
Well, no matter. Things are going well.
Too bad I’m still a pessimist; I can’t imagine any girl being romantically interested in me ever again. It even takes an effort not to believe what I had with Samantha was all a lie, though I know she likes me lots even now. And Yvonne likes me a lot too, so it’s not like I’m doing that badly…
Of course, neither of those two is eligible nor do I know any other girls and since I’m as talkative as a cabbage, things do not look like they’re about to change. How terrific.
Meanwhile, I get to cringe every time a couple does anything even semi romantic and have to hear about the relationships of other people around me while trying hard not to grind my teeth.
Uh.. Enough about that…
It’s about time for me to go home; I had better wrap things up.
I’m usually busier around here, but today was a really quiet day. It’s quite a contrast with last week. I truly hope I won’t get that busy again anytime soon, I cannot handle stress very well. =(
So yeah, off I go.
...And so I got home and posted it. The end.
DO YOU PERHAPS DRINK NEW HYDRATING VOLVIC REVIVE?! |
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